missed appointments.

maybe it was the lazy haze of the summer afternoon, or the fact that i had nothing particular to do,
so i hit the streets.
letting the yellow stripped streets pick my course.

& its almost as if you knew... my haphazard wandering would led me back to you.

i reached a fork, in the middle of the road. the most obvious decision, whether to go left or right..
it was such a simple choice.

...

what about the chase, made me think this was a race? I should learn to take patience, with such delicate situations like these ..

"I haven't talked to him since I went to see him.."

"why...what did you wear?"

i wish the answer were that simple. why must you force me to double think? replay our conversation. ponder were exactly



...
i told my mom not to buy me a
birthday present today..
i hope she listens.

i know they can't afford it.

Please let me get something right.
just this once.
please?

....... I don't understand the complexity of the universe. why am I here? can you answer that, first? something led me here. and its possible that YOU are my greatest fear. #inebriated. down my fears with a couple of beers. wake up in the morning ; "what the fuck happened here?" ..... why.can't I.post something coherent? these shots help.me voice the things I think of, without choice ... you haunt my dreams. even when I can't sleep ... I can hear the train. if only it knew... it'd be de-railed .. remember when you flattened that nickle? its hot like that, but happened quicker .. or has it taken... an eternity? time seems to slip my mind lately ... constantly ... . .... fuck. what did I say? ill deny it, in the light of day

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permanent markers.

i like to be alone, but i hate to be lonely.

i sorta wish you'd take a moment;  get to know me.
because i feel static.
           add a variable, so i can add and subtract it. is the out come divisible by two? because i can't seem to shake this feeling of wanting to get closer to you..
..

&he said "what's yo sign?" but it wasn't a line.

so when you look up at the stars tonight, do you hear the messages written in the sky?
i'm searching for a valid reason,  so give me a sign.
isn't this worth trying..

and if we're solving mysteries, please explain, how talking for hours happened effortlessly. this occurred naturally.

...

" got a problem with me? fix it. think I'm tripping? tie my shoes. can't stand me? so sit down. don't want to face me? then turn around. "

but I dont know where I gained the sudden boost of confidence from.
feels like I've been pumped full of energy & performance-enhancing drugs.

up up and away & i wont come down. head so high in the sky, i cant see the ground. the view's foggy when        its obstructed with clouds.

                                                        vertigo; such weightless             

shouldn't be allowed..

but ive never found a voice that was loud
enough.

knitting needles.

this is about men and thieves.
this is about wolves and sheep.
this is about the difference between
you and me.

[try to understand. its difficult for me to put in words.]

one without the other, is just no good. each one needs its counterpart, to define them. each one needs someone who's consistently trying to unwind them.

however, lately i feel as if I've been left unraveled on the floor. its no use anymore. the tangles and knots, are just too tight. the frustration that insues, is enough
that everyone who ends up trying, gives up. it seems fit & right..
I guess I've never really been worth the fight.

don't worry. I'm content being left a mess: a huge heap of strings on the floor.

...
sometimes I feel myself fading. drifting along. disappearing.
I know I don't belong. there's no need for you to play the old songs. I don't know these words, I can't sing along.
these melodies seem vaguely familiar. the bass line mimics my heart. beating against my rib cage, it becomes entangled in the sound. can you hear it? it seems so loud.
drowning out the words screamed from you mouth.
... I feel like the ghost of your past life. just here to remind you of the time.

...
why does this feel so comfortable? why is it that you seem to linger on my mind? how did you seem to play with the time? warp it. manipulated so that it speeds up & slows down, at will?
how is it that I find myself here?
vertigo. I feel lost in deep space. or put in a trance.


yo no se.

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