still waters.

run deep.  isnt that the saying? cause im not quite sure if i agree. lets jump head first & figure out- just how deep it is, firsthand.

you have this way about you,
of making me want to be
someone i'm really not.

or is it that you bring out,
the side of me that i
desperatly wish i was?



i hate all my regrets;
i wish i had remorse instead.

how is it that my purse contains 4 different black eyeliners and yet not a thing to help me light my cigarette on my smoke break? maybe simplicity is the key.

but who would i be... if i didnt have my life in my backpack? 

snails are smart,
their whole life & homes are on their backs.

...too bad i like salt too much, to be a snail.

ive been so sick of the life i'm living
that i've been terribly nostolgic for a life i've already lead.

oh bother.
whats the use of complaining.

"we've already heard this song"

i know you're no longer the person i remember.
and there is no way, that in a room full of strangers
 you'd reconize me.

too much time has passed.
i dont even know you anymore.

guess we really are, just two strangers with familiar looking faces.

if i passed by you, would you give me a second glance?

i'm slowly remembering why i dont even bother doing this anymore.
one of two things.
over analyze to the point where nothing makes any sense
or completely spill my guts and later end up editing the fuck out of everything i wrote.

neither of those two are even good
so really the whole problem is that this is pointless.

better to keep it in my head;; no judgements there.

just old arthmatic formulas that were important to know at one point of my life & cobwebs.

i think im still greiving the fact that my parents desktop died.

all the old pictures. your EPs. my old posts.

all tucked away in secret files that i thought were so safe.

now they're memories i feel ill never get back.

gone. & i never got to say goodbye.

"i took the polaroid down in my room,
i'm pretty sure you have a new girlfriend.
it's not as if i dont like you,
it just makes me sad whenever i see it."



...you just don't exist like I thought you would.