&left discarded, on the side of the road.
looking up- at, what once was, home..
waiting for the bus, is prime people watching time. ...especially all the people driving by in their cars. at 8 in the morning..
i cant help but feel like, at the moment where they all hit the red light; we're left trapped in a moment where they're all looking at me &&thinking the same thought.
...its amazing how many people text and drive. and not just young people, which is usually the common stereotype guilty of this. no. while standing, observing traffic and waiting for the bus, i watch dumbfounded at a mid 40s man nearly swerve into oncoming traffic while trying to respond to a text. wheres the justice? at least teens can do it discreetly. sometimes.
but yes. i see you doing your makeup. or eating your breakfast. all while commuting to work. i'm not saying i'm not guilty of some of these offenses; its just funny how some people chose to spend their time behind the wheel...
[where is the bus?]
at least the sun feels delightful on my face as i wait here.
it warms me to the core; i drink in the vitamin d.
you'll always find me with my face towards the sun;
i'm like a sunflower, in a way. i'm drawn to the rays.
or is it- maybe- that i run on solar power
&whenever i'm in the sun, i charge up?
--try to conserve it; for grey days
when i cant remember how it feels.
...there are five other people on the bus with me, as i get on.
this i can handle.
the night previous,
the bus i needed to get home, was packed.
sardines in a tin can- traveling 55 mph.
you never hear of tragic bus accidents, with less then a two digit body count.
five feels safe.
but of course as soon as i get on and take a seat, one gets up to leave.
five becomes 4.
that numbers been taunting me lately. 4.
my apartment number.
bus route i've been doomed to wait upon, for the time being.
weeks til a visit.
weeks since a visit.
amount- in hundreds- i probably owe in bills.
please let this second job pay off.
i need this so bad.
&of course, nothing seems to go as planned.
i'm not very good at this.
i took the wrong bus. even though i spent hours the night before going over my plan.
its like a treasure map. and as much as i'd hate to admit it...
i dont think id make a good pirate.
dear cascade,
eff you for not having ANY bus routes within a two mile radius of my work.
i wish i could fly. birds are so graceful in that way.
so starts my trek. [i should have taken the no.5] damnit. 2 minutes in, and i realize i never fixed the discomfort i found, in my left shoe, while traveling. i take a moment to fix it, and start on again. but of course- two steps in &now i find a rock in my boot. you cant make this up.
is this really how my days going to be?
as i hike past woodland mall, i cant help but notice all the olgas kitchen litter...
&&i told her- i was feeling inspired by mid 80s punk rock-
so i wore my pink chetah-print bandana in my hair...
the bus was completely empty when i first got on. now, once again, i find in filled to max capacity. uncomfortably close. why is it that i have the only available seat and it remains unoccupied? people would rather stand in the aisle way then sit next to me? what. an. ego. booster. the kid that chose to sit in the empty seat in front of me immediately gets on his phone and tweets (thats the verbal version of tweeter... right?): "it would happen that the only available seat on the bus is next to my ex. i'll stand." besides myself, there were two other seats. this- including the one he chose to sit in.
i wonder who was his ex?
this really is word vomit of the mind.
too bad i've turned my mind
...into mush.
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