&if i move my place in line, ill lose.

I've been listening to a little too much of my old music lately.

I thought these familiar words, would put me to sleep. lullabies. instead they made my mind rewind. memories of a simpler time. I wish I had known; I don't want to know what its like to grow old.
I can't believe these songs are five years old. the cds you burned me, I enjoyed them all. &I think I lost them all, when I totaled my 1st car. the soundtracks to our lives. played through the speakers of my little black Malibu. that's when we learned to aimlessly drive, because we had no clue- what to do.

why am i left wondering, after all this time. will you let me waste these days away with you?
for now I'm just going to drift back, &try to remember what we used to be like. we're such different people.
I told her, "we'd both have such different lives, had we stayed connected.."
as if it had just dawned on me. its just, the idea seems absurd.
honestly.. its fucking mind blowing.
...

I. cleaned. the. f. u. c. k. out of my apartment today. I feel so accomplished. although, in retrospect, if I kept up with the tidiness 24/7 I wouldn't need to pull these all night, crazy heart attack amounts of black coffee consumed, clean a thons.
but what else would I do to entertain myself? plus, I'm about 97.6% sure the bats gone. &i can see my closet floor. the only thing I've procrastinated doing is the weeks worth of laundry that I just can't justify not doing for a day longer. sitting feels good, after being all my feet all day. so for now, the laundry can wait. but what I have realized is, my mom was right..
I HAVE AN INSANE AMOUNT OF CLOTHES. so how is it that I never have anything to wear?

...
I can't shut my brain off. I've been super anxious with the time. I feel two steps behind & five minutes late.

I want to tie dye. I would also like to find a car & a way to loan the little bit of money I need to get the car. id also like to pay off my debts. #endless cycle. I really want to find a zoom lens for my moms old 35mm camera. do cameras vary that much year to year? I wonder if a new one would fit her vintage Canon? ill figure it out.

id like to make a post longer then 2 paragraphs long.
this is so pointless. I feel pretty vanilla. since now I pointlessly blog. Facebook people who are "virtual" friends. and now I tweet too..
I freaking love twitter. and checking Facebook more then id like to admit. and I like to pretend people stumble upon my blog.
"are you checking your facebook? its 6:48 in the morning. it's way too early for Facebook.."
what can I say? just like the rest of the population: #addicted.

[guess we are all droids]
...

I'm not sure I knew what to say,
but I'm glad I saw you the other day.
thanks for saying "hi".

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