vertigo.

it blew in with the rain storm. at first, it was soft. in fact, she liked the gentle drops of rain on her face. had she known it was going to be tornado session, she wouldve brought an umbrella. swept up like dorthy in the cyclon. are we headed towards oz?
there is no yellow brick road. this one is paved with personal regrets, and second glances from strangers on the train.
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-- -

today, i felt like all lines of communication have been tied up. no ones on the recieving end. ring. ring. ring.
are you there? its me, paige. i know you dont have the time to waste, listening to what i have to say.. its just lately i've been having such hard luck. its been a bad day.
& all i needed was a friendly reminder, or maybe just a reply- something to remind myself; there is a reason to try.

i guess it finally hit me this weekend: i am truely lonely.

solely, i am responsible for myself. i am alone in my actions.
i have no one waiting for me to get home.


working second shift has made my caffine addiction so much worse. brewing strong ass coffee at 9pm at work, just to waste the time, and give me enough energy to stay alert until midnight, when my relief comes in.
only problem is, once i arrive home- alone, i'm left with just my thoughts and star trek reruns to fill the slience until bordem finally makes me drowsy..

the steady flicker of light from the tv screen, is hypnotizing. this amount of caffine, mixed with lack of sleep is slowly but surely eatting away at me.

&&i thought i was doing good at this new job.

turns out im failing at this too.

i'm not having a good day.
i dont have anyone to talk to.